WHAT IS SPIRITUAL DIRECTION AND HOW IS IT DIFFERENT FROM COACHING OR COUNSELING?
In all of these “helping relationships,” the focus is on your life. A counselor, a coach, and a spiritual director will express curiosity on your behalf by asking open-ended questions and listening for significance beyond the words you say to help you reflect on your own life. Ultimately, these relationships and conversations help you to become more aware of yourself and to bring greater intentionality to your daily living as you seek to steward what God has entrusted to you.
So, what’s the difference?
Counseling
Counseling is a form of treatment to relieve emotional stress and mental health concerns. Therapists will address psychological issues and will help to solve your problems. Whether they are “lay counselors” or licensed mental health professionals, they help promote behavior change and optimize mental health by gaining insight into life choices and difficulties. There are many types of practitioners, and some may collaborate with other healthcare professionals to diagnose and treat various mental health conditions. For this comparison discussion, therapy often focuses on the past to bring healing and unblock a person to move ahead.
Coaching
In coaching, your coach works with you to take meaningful action toward your vision. Coaching includes setting goals, finding balance, and pursuing dreams. A coaching session might begin with celebrating any action you have taken since the last session, naming any resistance to the goals you set, setting a purpose for today’s session, working through a particular issue you present, and developing action steps for you to take. The coach might wrap up the session by asking you to name what you found to be most valuable today. Spiritual coaching will look like mentorship or discipleship and will guide you in your spiritual formation. Coaching is primarily future-oriented and action-focused with accountability.
Spiritual Direction
Spiritual direction focuses on your relationship with God and is dependent on the Holy Spirit's leading. The focus is on intimacy with God, not on solving problems and achieving goals. The spiritual director serves as a companion, helping you notice and name some of the goodness, truth, and beauty you may have overlooked along the way and develop a greater capacity to respond to experiences with God in ordinary, everyday life. Your director might begin your time to help you shed the noise of daily life with scripture reading, meditation, sacred poems, meditation, and a time of silence to notice whatever God brings to your mind. There is no agenda, and the session is led by you. There is no curriculum to go through, program to follow, or methods to implement. Spiritual direction is primarily present-oriented and focused on who you are and who are you becoming.
Many people benefit from working with a coach, spiritual director, or therapist in combination or in different seasons and circumstances of life. Generally, you might meet with a therapist or a coach once a week or once a month in a long-term relationship, while others may only engage in short-term therapy during a crisis. A spiritual direction is more of a long-term relationship (typically once a month). I hope this clarifies some of the differences between these three listening professions. Group Spiritual Direction (counseling, coaching) might also be something you might want to consider. If you have more questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Do you have anyone you meet regularly who you can be yourself with? Someone you can share your wins and losses. Someone who will listen to you attentively without judgment. Someone you can share your deepest longing and struggles. Someone you can share your doubts and unanswerable questions, and not be affected by them. Someone who you can meet with strict confidentiality.
For many Christians talking about the things of God is usually reserved for their trusted friends or maybe a pastor. However, most of the time, those relationships don’t go far enough. Maybe you read a lot and are learning so much, and need someone to process with. A spiritual director is a trained listener who works as a metaphorical midwife to bring the divine to life.
For many Christians talking about the things of God is usually reserved for their trusted friends or maybe a pastor. However, most of the time, those relationships don’t go far enough. Maybe you read a lot and are learning so much, and need someone to process with. A spiritual director is a trained listener who works as a metaphorical midwife to bring the divine to life.
If you are seeking a new vocation or a path, or feeling a new calling, a spiritual director will be your guide, working to discern that voice along with you. For some, this need for a new path may come about in what Fr. Richard Rohr calls the “second half of life,” while for others, it may be the leading of God you need to discern as you look ahead toward your career or vocation. In either case, a spiritual director is there to help you discern and listen to the Holy Spirit with you.
Another category of people who need spiritual direction is people seeking to reconstruct their faith. Reconstruction refers to the idea of one’s faith deconstructing and needing to be rebuilt. A spiritual director is a trusted voice of reconstruction. Maybe you may define what you are going through as a faith mid-life crisis or even just a desire for something different. You may even just be bored but aren’t ready to give up. Your deep desire for more is exactly what a spiritual director is trained to walk through with you. There is so much more!
I know that it is difficult to hear God in the midst of our hectic daily lives. But if you are ready to commit some intentional time to really listen, then you are ready for spiritual direction!
